Saturday, November 04, 2006

What happens when this van and this phone meet ? ? ? ?

THIS ! ! !

I have 3 pairs of pants that I have been rotating quite regularly. Then a few days ago I sat down and heard that dreadful sound. I looked down to see my knee poking out a gaping hole. Now I'm down to 2 pairs of pants and doing laundry everyday. It seems I am pooped or spewed on several times a day by our precious little Emily. After hearing JC Pennys advertisement all week how the entire store is marked down 20-60% today ONLY from 6am-12 noon I thought I could get me a new pair of jeans.

So this morning I loaded up all 3 kids and headed to JC Penny's by myself as Kory was working. I finally walked through the front doors at 9 am. As I was drawn to several different racks claiming to be 60% off I decided someone must have uped the price the night before as nothing was under $20.00.

At 9:15 Hunter starts the potty dance so we make a trip to the bathroom. We begin the search again. At 9:30 Madelyn starts saying in a rather loud voice she needs to go poop. I tell her just 15 minutes ago she said she didn't have to go potty (like she understands time). I ask her why she didn't go when we were in their as she claimed she didn't need to? She says she doesn't have to go potty she has to go POOP! (AHH !) Let's not forget that just 45 min. ago we were home and both children used the bathroom before we left. So we head for the bathrooms again. Madelyn relieves herself and we start the search. Not 15 minutes later I hear a gagging sound. I look down and Emily has spewed all over herself. Her hair and clothes are just covered. So we make ANOTHER bathroom stop. After changing Emily and making sure the other two do not need to go potty or poop or anything else that might take place in a bathroom we start the search again. By this time the store is packed and I'm having a hard time keeping both my walking children close to me. I finally find a jean rack that states buy 1 get 1 for $.99.

After debating with myself whether or not to just buy them or to try them on I decide I really don't want to come back any time soon (especially by myself and the kids) so we make our way to the changing room. As I am taking off my pants in a rather loud voice Hunter asks " why are you getting naked mommy?" I reply I am not getting naked I am simple trying on these pants. Hunter still in a loud voice asks "Why, did you go poop or pee in them?" In a rather hushed tone of voice I tell him I didn't do either I am just trying them on. Meanwhile I am trying to wrestle with Madelyn quietly as she keeps laying on the floor looking under the divider into the next stall. I'm hoping the poor women next door isn't noticing my 2 year old watching her change and I am praying Maddie won't make any comment on the women getting naked as she just heard Hunter and my conversation. I decide the pants are good enough and get out out of the room before my neighbors are done.

I am thankful no one is in line at the check out. As I give the young girl behind the counter I hear a crash at my feet. I look down to discover Hunter and Maddie had each pulled out a gift card holder and I have at least 50 cards scattered around our feet. I just picked them all up and handed them to the young girl apologizing (whoever thought to put those stupid things at the eye level of little kids. I never notice them until my kids point them out). My pants are paid for and we can finally go home. As we proceed out the doors there is a display of red and gold balloons. Both kids run up to the diplay grabbing at them and in an excited voice screeching " look mom balloons, I want one, I want one one." They of course knock the display over. With a crash everyone again is looking at us. I pick the pole up trying to be thankful the balloons didn't pop and nothing broke. I feel like I can't get out to the van fast enough. So for $32 I bought 2 pairs of pants . Definitely not what I as planning on. However I was not about to go to any other stores.

I get out to the van and am litterally opening up the back of the van when a car pulls up behind me and then proceeds to back up. I can't believe it there is clearly an empty parking space three spots up but this lady is going to wait for me. I get my bag in the back, throw 2 kids over the back of the seat and am walking around to put the baby in when I notice there are 2 other cars behind this lady waiting for my spot. Emily's in, I put the stroller in and then climb into the van to fasten Hunter and Maddies seat belt. The honking is starting. I don't know who is doing it but I'm beyond frazzled by this point. Everyones in their seat belt I back up and start to drive up the isle when the thought comes to me "where's your planner?" I pull into the nearest spot, turn around and I spot my planner in the van on the floor, a sigh of relief and a quick thankful prayer I put the van in gear to reverse when another thought enters my head. "Where's your phone?" I once again put the van in park and turn around in search of my phone. I can't find it. I get out look in the stroller, in the bag, under the baby no phone. I decide I must have dropped it getting everyone into the van or it's somewhere in the store. So I drive down the isle (these isles are one of these one way only's) looking for my phone. I'm asking myself if I can't find it, is it worth going back inside with 3 kids in search for it? I really don't think I can do it. I spot the phone on the ground between 2 cars, I hop out offering another thankful prayer that I don't have to go back inside. The phone is in 2 pieces (it hasn't quite registerd that my phone is destroyed. I am still just thankful I don't have to go back inside in seach for it). I get back in the van and proceed to drive down the isle (It's finally starting to register that my phone is broken. I or someone else ran over my phone.) Another car starts to turn up the isle (I have one more car to pass and then I can turn out of the isle onto the main road). He is quite upset that we both can't be in the isle at the same time, I have nowhere to go but forward. He sticks his head out the window yells something (my windows are rolled up so I'll assume it was something nice), honks his horn, sends me friendly wave ( I want to believe) and proceeds to back up so I can turn. I send him a friendly wave (yes it really was friendly) and I honestly can't get home soon enough.

On my way home I pass the Alltel store and decide my morning can't get much worse why not stop. I leave my kids in the car (hoping no one will turn me in), run in and tell them I ran over my phone and need a new one, it is confirmed I do not have phone insurance and it will be $135 for the cheapest phone. This poor young man must have seen my distress and said in a whispered hush before buying a phone from them I should check ebay to see if I can buy one or if someone is upgrading there phone and I can use there old one. It just needs to be an Alltel phone. So I am on yet another search. As of this evening there are no alltel phones on ebay so I'm relying on your help. If you or anyone you know is getting rid of one of the following STOP!! I want it. It can be any of the following: Motorola W315, Motorola E815, Samsung a645, Samsung U420, LG AX490, 355 or 5000. If your not sure, you can look on the Alltel website or e-mail me and I will look into it. I thank you ahead of time.