Brayden's 1st Birthday

It's amazing how fast time can fly by. To think we have gone from this to this in just 1 short year. Friday night we had some friends come over for a little celebration.

Just celebrating a "7th birthday" last week I forgot how different a 1st birthday can be.

Brayden was surrounded by gifts.

He was content to sit in the middle and just do NOTHING.

The other kids around him just didn't understand.

He had plenty of help this birthday in opening his gifts.

Happy Birthday

my little man.

I haven't wanted my baby to turn "one". My older kids have been counting down awaiting the big day while I have been dreading it. Him turning "one" puts him that much closer to being a toddler. I don't want a toddler. I want my baby boy. I've been reminising this week of what was going on a year ago. A year ago he would have been 3 days old today. Today was the 1st day I got to hold him. (I held him right after he was born before he was cleaned up for just a minute. Then in the nursery 2x for less then a minute because his oxygen level would drop and his heart would begin racing. When I put him down everything would go back to normal, well of what normal was at that time for him.) I was only able to cuddle with him for just a few short minutes today, but I got to hold him for what I felt like was the 1st time. For the rest of that day I was only able to touch him through the arm holes of the incubator. Looking back I needed that touch, that bonding moment of being able to hold him even if was just once. That feeling of him in my arms would carry me through till I could hold him again 2 days later. Today was the day that I changed my 1st diaper. I was soo excited! Today was the day that his MRI results and cardiogram came back showing everything was O.K. Today was the 1st day that Brayden didn't seem to be in pain. Today he was breathing more easily, he slept peacefully. Today restored my hope that Brayden would get well and I would be able to bring him home soon. He wouldn't have to be there for weeks and months like some of his fellow roomates. Today was the day that my daily trips back and forth from Phoenix began.

We've had a rocky first year with many many doctors appointments and 2 surgeries. I hope this second year will be much easier on the both of us. I am so greatful to have you a part of my life. I love you little man.