Friday, June 01, 2012

Day 3

I keep telling myself that this little bundle of joy is worth all the pain and agony that today has brought on. I do believe that Post Partum has caught up to me. It happens with all new mommies but I was hoping it would hold off another day or two when Kory would be around. We got home from the hospital yesterday just in time for Kory to leave for work. My kids, all of them, did absolutely awsome but it was still tiring on me to be home by myself with 5 kids. Even though Hunter and Madelyn were great to help out there are just some things that mom/dad has to do for the little ones. Being dad wasn't around it was left up to me regardless of just having a baby. 

Today, our first day home Kory wasn't suppose to go to work until 4 this afternoon and then would get off at 2 in the morning. I was looking forward to him being home most of the day to help me. He got a 6 am phone call this morning from his future day shift boss asking if he would come in earlier today. He wanted Kory to run the D-90 to make sure he could do it before being assigned to that machine hopefully sometime next week as his new job for the mine. Kory said he could but that it would have to be mid morning as he wasn't willing to leave me alone quite yet. THANKYOU, THANKYOU, THANKYOU! Even though he went in early he still doesn't get off until 2 in the morning which means we'll probably have a tired daddy on our hands tommorrow.

Kylie's blood was tested before leaving the hospital yesterday for jaundice and it was a little high meaning I had to take her to a lab today for another heel poke. The closest lab is in Panguitch, 45 minutes away. The test needed to be done around noon. We were able to get one of Kory's sister's to take the big kids. Then Kory and I left at the same time, him to the mine and me to the lab. Knowing I was going to be driving later today I wasn't able to take the Lortab this morning for these ridiculous cramps. Oh my gosh how they hurt. They make me cry every time.

The tears have made there presence today. I cried all the way to Panguitch, I cried while my baby cried when her heel was poked and I cried all the way home because her blood results are still too high and I get to take her back for another heel poke tommorrow at noon. Chances are I will be sent home with belly lights for her to sleep on through out the weekend. I'll have to take her back sunday and then again on monday for more heel pokes. Yeah for us!

Kory's sister kept my big kids after getting home from Panguitch so that I could take a much needed nap. I cried on the way home becuase I was so thankful for this rare opportunity. Kylie and I slept for almost 2 hours.  I have forgotton how much a body can hurt after giving birth. My lower legs and feet are swollen. It hurst to walk. My calfs are tight with fluid and I can't curl my toes. Most of the afternoon I've propped my feet up on some pillows. I think the swelling is finally starting to go down. My cramps are out of this world. I don't think the Motrin is doing much good but I'm not willing to stop taking them either just in case. I constantly have a heating bag over my body. It helps some. My milk decided to come in this afternoon too. I have forgotton how painful this can be too. I feel like I can't put my hands to my sides as they apply to much pressure to the sides of my breasts. I keep waking up Kylie trying to get her to nurse almost hourly to help relieve some of the pressure. Plus the more she eats the more she'll poop and hopefully will help make the jaundice go away quicker. I feel so tight, heavy and full. What I would love to do is go to the milking barn and hook myself up to the milker. LOL It would hurt like crap but when your already hurting does it matter that much? After just a few seconds I'm sure I'd have the relief I'm seeking.

I've always been told that it's somewhere between day 3-5 that is the absolute worse for a new mommy. I'm hoping today has been the worse of it. Kory already told the mine that he wasn't working tommorrow. I hope he'll be home all day tommorrow and then I'll have him around all day sunday. I don't think I've ever been so excited to have him home with me before. I decided that even though my kids have been on their best behavior I want some help, I need some help. I just want someone else to answer all the questions or to remember to have Brayden go potty. To have an adult around to do the little things like when Emily knocked over her glass of milk tonight. My kids never spill anymore but of course karma would have a spill tonight. She cleaned it up and did a pretty good job but lets remember she's only 5. I can still see a few milk smears on the floor. I'm just to tired and sore to deal with it tonight, and by tommorrow I'll have black smears on my floor. It didn't help that I knocked my plate off the table tonight too so I now have powder surgar all over the place. Oh well!!  Dinner was suppose to be brought in tonight and it wasn't. At 7:30 I pulled on my big girl panties and made french toast for dinner.  It's a favorite of my kids but it made me miss the hospital even more. I have never had such good food while in a hospital. I was given a menu that looked like it came out of a restaraunt. I had choices like steak & mashed potatos or a baked potato. There was roast beef, lasagna, etc. I had grilled shrimp one day for lunch over pasta. I ate so much good food, it was amazing. 

Tonight I miss the hospital. I'm in tears AGAIN just thinking about it. I miss the nurses who bring me ice water or as much apple juice I desire. I miss the hospital bed that with just a push of a button I can make myself sit up or lay down without having to scoot around on my sore behind. I miss the food that is brought to me. I didn't have to make it and I sure as heck didn't have to clean anything up afterwards. I miss all the meds that are just automatically brought to me becuase they keep track of the timing and how often I can take what.   I miss the constant interuptions of nurses just "checking" on me asking me what I want or need. Can I go back??

Tonight I just have to keep telling myself that Kylie is worth all the pain, tears and turmoil that today has brought on. Tommorrow will be a better day cause it can't get much worse than today!  My kids are in bed hopefully sleeping and now Miss Kylie and I are hitting the sack. I hope we both sleep well.


Sheri said...

She is definitely worth it. We had to do the light thing with Jamie too. I sat and cried next to him while he slept under the lights. And remember we are only a phone call away. CALL ME!!!
Love you, she is beautiful.

Camille said...

Wish I were closer, I'd love to help out. Sucks your mom can't come stay a week. That's one of the best parts of haing a baby. Having mom there to do everything! I feel for ya, being prego sucks and giving birth is even worse :( Glad Kory was able to stay home a few days to help out!
I'm with you, I love the hospital. Can you imagine like back in the day when they HAD to stay at least 3 days?! how nice, to be bed ridden by demand for 3 days and have meals brought to you. I guess back then hospitals weren't near as nice either though. LOL
Best of luck! She is worth it, they always are. Even when it totally doesn't feel like it.